Angelus w/Cassie Michaels vs. Felix

We open up to a house show in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Angelus poses with his title as both Felix and Cassie look at him in disgust as Angelus is handing the ref his title, Cassie walks over to Felix a hugs him she then says 'Good luck' to him, which pisses Angelus off, Angelus charges at Felix and punches him in the back a couple of time as Cassie quickly gets out the ring. Felix falls to the mat, Angelus starts kicking him in the gut a few times and then walks over to the ropes nearest to where Cassie is stood and looks down to her and shouts, 'What do you think of him now? Hey?' Angelus whips Felix to the ropes, goes for a cross body but Felix catches him and slams Angelus to the mat and then pins 1...2...kick out. Felix starts punching Angelus in the head a few times and picks Angelus up, he then delieves a chop to Angelus chest, Angelus holds his chest in pain. Felix delievers another, then another, Cassie watches smiling. Felix whips Angelus to the ropes, bends forward and so Angelus kicks him in the face, Angelus goes to clothesline him, but he ducks and hits a clothesline of his own, sending Angelus to the mat. Felix then hits a elbow drop on Angelus pins 1...kickout. Angelus rolls out the ring, near Cassie, he starts to walk toward Cassie, who backs away from him, Felix gets out the ring so Angelus grabs Cassie for protection, and holds her infront of him. Cassie manages to get out of his grasp and then slaps Angelus. Felix then punches Angelus who falls to the ground, Felix kicks Angelus in the face. Felix goes over to Cassie to make sure she is ok, when Angelus hits him in the back. Felix falls to the ground and Cassie walks away, looking slightly concerned. Angelus rolls Felix back into the ring and climbs onto the ring apron, he looks back to Cassie and blows her a kiss. He gets into the ring and grabs Felix from behind the neck and then rams his head into the nearest turnbuckle, Felix falls to the ground. He then climbs up the ropes and waits for Felix gets up, and when he does Angelus goes for a flying clothesline but Felix kicks him in the stomach and then hits a sunset flip on him. Cassie starts working the crowd behind Felix, Felix clotheslines Angelus to the mat when he gets up. Felix goes to hit a standing leg drop but Angelus moves out the way, pissed of that the crowd are behind Felix, Angelus gets out the ring and grabs a steel chair, the ref sees this and takes it of him and as the ref is putting that chair away Angelus gets another, Cassie walks over to him and tries to get the chair of Angelus, as Cassie and Angelus are trying to get the chair, Cassie accidently elbows the ref in the face, the ref falls to the floor and Angelus gets into the ring with the chair waiting for Felix to turn around. Cassie gets into the ring and just as Angelus is about to hit Felix Cassie takes the chair of Angelus, she goes to hit Angelus with the chair but Angelus ducks and Cassie hits Felix, in shock she drops the chair. Angelus grabs the chair and hits the Women's Champion over the head with it, Cassie instantly falls to the floor and Angelus hits a Swanton Dive and pins as another ref runs out. 1..2..3!!

Winner: Angelus!

'She loves me not' hits and Angelus grabs Cassie by the arm and pulls her up and then puts her over his shoulder as the ref hands him back his US title which he holds in the air before leaving with Cassie over one shoulder and his title over the other.

Red Static vs. Havok

Red Static walks out to a half and half chorus of boos as Havok waits patiently in the ring. The instant Static gets in, Havok attempts to pound away at him. Static takes the beating and rises up, punching Havok in the jaw repeatedly. Red Static backs up and nailes a clothesline. He then begins stomping his oppoenent viciously untill the referee tells him to stop. Red Static yells at the red and continues his work. He lifts up Havok by the pant line and hihs hair and tosses him up onto his shoulder, and delivers a powerslam. Static picks him back up and nails a three time consectutive rib breaker and executes a fall away slam from that position. Havok sails over the seven footers head and onto the mat. Static goes for a pin but lifts himself up after two, smiling. He whips Havok into the cornerm runs at him, and gets a boot to the face. Static stumbles back, and Havok climbs the tournbuckle and does a flying clothesline, but red Static stands and takes the blow only staggering a bit. Havok throws some fists and does a DDT. Static just sits up after a few seconds. Static stands back up and looks Havok in the face wth anger. Havok goes buckwild and tries to defend himself with whatever he knows. He eventually nails a powerbomb onto red Static and goes for the pin..one...tw- kickout. Havok's jaw drops. He ties to cover him again, but gets another kickout, even faster one. He triesa third, but at this point red Static simply throws Havok off of him. red Static stands up and begins hailing right handed uppercuts at his opponents throat. He whips havok across the ropes and catches him ina sidewalk slam. He then backs up a few paces towards one of the corners. Havok stands up to get a giant running boot to his jaw. Red Static then grins and signals for a thumbs down. He bends down and grabs Havok by the thraot, lifts him up from off the mat, and Chokeslams him hard. Havok lays out cold as red Static covers him..1...2....3! Here is your winner Red Static. Red Static kicks Havok once more before exiting.

Triple Threat Tag Team Match
New Diamonds (Matt Matlock & The Jackal) vs. Bullet Brothers vs. Too Fucking Fat Crew

The fans have seen some good matches so far, but now it is time for the main event.

DING DING DING!

J-Lo: The following contest is a triple threat tag team match, scheduled for one fall.

"Pedal To The Metal" by Kazzer hits the speakers and out walk Kurt & Greg Bullet.

J-Lo: Introducing first...Kurt & Greg...The Bullet Brothers!

The two enter the ring. And then, "Eat It" by "Weird Al" Yankovic and out walk the Too Fucking Fat Crew.

J-Lo: At a combined weight of over 900 lbs...Too Fucking Fat One...and Too Fucking Fat Two...The Too Fucking Fat Crew!

They get to the ring, and try to climb on the apron. Two of the security guards have to help the two get on the apron. They get inside, and await the third team.

"Raise up....everybody RAISE UP!!"

Raise Up" by Saliva begins to play, and the 500 fans in attendance get to their feet, as "The New Diamonds" make their way to the ring.

J-Lo: And finally..at a combined weight of 400 lbs...Matt Matlock & The Jackal...The New Diamonds!

Matt & Jackal slide into the ring, and waste no time in getting the match started. Uncle Kracker calls for the bell.

DING DING DING!

The match begins with all six men brawling. It ends up with Jackal, Greg Bullet, and one member of TFFC (what, I'm supposed to know the difference between them?) left in the ring. Thinking quickly, TFF and Greg double team Jackal, punching him several times, and then trying an irish whip. They try a clothesline on the way back, but Jackal ducks, and then comes off the ropes with one of his own. Greg falls down, but TFF just staggers. Jackal punches TFF a few times, and then...BHAM!!!...The Jackal Effect! Jackal goes for a cover. Kracker counts....1...2...The count is disrupted by the other member of the TFFC. He punches Jackal, rolls him over, and then...oh god...NO!! HE DOES A SPLASH ONTO JACKAL! THAT'S ABOUT 450 POUNDS!! CALL A MEDIC! Jackal rolls in agony, and TFF goes for a cover. Kracker counts again....1..2...The count is broken by Matt, who has re-entered the fray. He checks on Jackal, and when he sees he's alright, then both grab one member of the TFFC. And then...DOUBLE SUPLEX! THE DIAMONDS WITH A DOUBLE SUPLEX ON A 450 POUND MAN!

SLAMMM!!!

The 450 pounds..along with Matt & Jackal's combined weight of 400 pounds, makes for 950 pounds crashing down to the ring. The ring shakes...hell the ENTIRE arena shakes! The ring ropes collapse, and there is now a large hole in the middle of the ring where the TFF guy went through the canvas. Matt and Jackal see the other member of TFF on the other side of the ring, having lost his balance from the ring shaking. Jackal runs...jumps over the hole...BAM!!...running Yakuza kick to the head of the other member of the Too Fucking Fat Crew! Then, the Bullet Brothers, who seemed to have been forgotten about the entire match, make a comeback. Greg grabs Matt, and nails a German suplex. While Kurt nails a bulldog. The Bros cover both Matt & Jackal....1....kickout! The Bullet Brothers try their best, but can't seem to keep Matt & Jackal down. Eventually, Matt gets Kurt set up for the Matlock-Go-Round, and Jackal sets up Greg for the Jackal's Claw. They hit their moves at the same time. Instead of going for the cover, Matt and Jackal go over to the TFF member who was hit with the Yakuza Kick. They roll him over until he lays on top of his buddy in the hole. Then Matt & Jackal put the Bullet Brother on top of them. They each put a foot on the men. It isn't technically a cover because no men's shoulders are on the canvas, but Kracker counts anyway....1....2.....3!

DING DING DING!

J-Lo: Here are your winners...The New Diamonds!

"Raise Up" hits once more, as Matt & Jackal taunt to the fans, and exit what used to be ring, but is now a mess of ring rope and bodies. The scene fades.